Have you seen my Childhood?
I’m searching for the world that I come from
‘Cause I’ve been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart…
No one understands me

They view it as such strange eccentricities…
‘Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me…

People say I’m not okay
‘Cause I love such elementary things…
It’s been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I’ve never known…

Have you seen my Childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I’m strange that way
‘Cause I love such elementary things,
It’s been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood I’ve never known…

Have you seen my Childhood?
I’m searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly…

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I’ve had

Have you seen my Childhood…

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No clock can tell us when the time has come for us…. that’s the message for all of us as human being. We can be famous, we can be rich, but when the time has come, we can’t resist it, we have to come back to our Creator. Doctor can try his best, but still… our creator is the one who decide it. Well you can do nothing when your body has no more spirit in it, so all you have to do is that you take care of your body.

Most of us know that to take care of our body is important, but in reality, when we’re rich, we’re famous, there will be many pressure, many gossips out there, we’re totally lost somewhere in our world, everything turned up side down now and we couldn’t maintain our health anymore. We couldn’t eat in the usual time because of the job that pushed us to continue until it’s finished, we couldn’t have a proper time to take a rest because our brain keep on running like a wheel, make us still awake in the middle of the night, we couldn’t take a break for ourselves because of the thight schedule, we couldn’t do any excercise anymore because we’re too tired of the job, we got a weight problem, our lives became miserable….

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Probably most of us know about Peter Pan story, a young man who stays young and live in Neverland. My little baby loves to see Tinker Bell the Fairy in that story and I think most of children will choose to live in a place like Neverland, a place where they can play and find happiness as a child.

When I heard about Neverland for the first time when Michael Jackson bought that ranch, I didn’t really know what it was. I thought  that it was a name for the ranch but I realized it when I read the story of Peter Pan 2 years ago for my baby. That’s my ‘AHA’ moment.

Then, when Michael Jackson died, I heard so many story about how Michael loved to play just like a child, how he wanted to stay young like Peter Pan, and how he built the place to fulfill his dream as a child.

Well, it’s really sad to remember about Michael’s life, that even though he had everything in life, successful career, money, power, children, but there was something missing in his life,… his childhood. He didn’t have enough time to play with other children when he was little, he felt lonely because he had no friend to play with. 

Back to my life here, sometimes I was so mean to my little girl. She always ask me wheter she can play with her friend or not, but at the first time, my answers were “NO” because I thought playing with me is enough for her. Then I realized how happy she was when she played with her friend, playing soccer, ballon, bicycle, or just hanging around doing nothing.

Now, thinking about Michael’s story, I always remember that no matter what life we wanted our child to be, I will always give time for my baby to play with her friends. I don’t want her to end up in sorrow, thinking about her missing childhood. So parents, what do you think about this?

In this unperfect world, we always want to have the best in everything, we want to be the best in everything, but I think that is impossible. Just like other parents, we also want to have the good looking boy, we want to have the cute charming girl, but when the reality is not the same, we put on label to our children based on their appearance to express our dissatisfaction. But one thing you need to remember that this is a bullying.

“Hey you, big nose!”

“Ow, you fatty cow”

We didn’t realize that by the time we put on label like that, it will be like a destructive weapon that can explode in the future. Our children will not have a good self-confidence, they will think that other people also have the same opinion just like you, their parents.

As they grow up, they will think to themselves, “I have to change my appearance, so that my parents and other people will not make fun of me anymore. ” Well that’s the positive way, but there is a possibility that our children can take the negative way, “I’m no body, I’m overweight, I don’t have a good looking face, I’ll just stay here, at home so that no one can make fun of me. ” The worst thing is they can kill themselves to end the sorrow.

If our children take the positive way, that’s good. But if they took the negative way, it will be very difficult for them to change their way of thinking about themselves. I found some children with this kind of behavior and it is very difficult to speak with them because they always refer to what their parents said when they were young.

Michael Jackson also had this kind of problem, I think. I read in several articles that his father called him with “Big nose”. This might be funny if we do that to our children, but as I said before, we can count this as a bullying. Michael succeed to change his nose even thought it cost him thousand  of dollars, but how about other children out there who face this kind of problem and decided to end their life?

Still remembering Michael, I really want to share about this article from wikipedia.

“Michael Jackson first spoke openly about his childhood abuse in a 1993 interview with Oprah Winfrey. He said that during his childhood he often cried from loneliness and would sometimes start to vomit upon seeing his father.^{[10][11][12][13]} In Jackson’s other high profile interview, Living with Michael Jackson (2003), the singer covered his face with his hand and began crying when talking about his childhood abuse.^[9] Jackson recalled that Joseph sat in a chair with a belt in his hand as he and his siblings rehearsed and that “if you didn’t do it the right way, he would tear you up, really get you”.

I think most of us, as parents, want to give the best for our children, we want to see our children has a bright future, we want them to be a successful person, we want them to have a better economic condition, we want them to have a high social status so that we put a really high expectation for them, we discipline for our children in a really high level. On the other side, as a young children, they will not understand the reason of our behavior, why they need to have that kind of discipline while other kid can play, sleep, do anything they want without any fear. Why they have to receive such a discipline?

There is a missing link here.

My mom, even though she never beat me with a belt, she has a really high expectation from me. Everytime she get mad at me, she will explain the reason, she will make me understand why she need to do that and now, even though I still can remember her voice, her slap on my butt, but I can understand fully why she did that to me, only because she loves me and because she wanted me to have a bright future.

That’s the missing link…

If you want to put a discipline to your children, I think you really have to consider Michael’s case as a reminder, never abuse a child if you want to put discipline on them. If you really want to discipline them, please give some explanation about that, so that they will understand the reason and they will not put this hard feeling in their heart. Another way is to give reward not a punishment.

Everybody loves to receive reward, including your children. Why don’t you give a reward instead of punishment if you want them to do something for their future. If you still want a punishment, you might think about a “brainy punishment”  instead of slapping their face or using a belt to spank their butt.

What do you think about this?

Most of us probably will not believe the news that the our music star, the king of pop, Michael Jackson was gone…. I couldn’d believe it either. When I opened up my email yesterday, I saw a news on my yahoo about this, but still I thought to my self, probably this was a joke. But when I turned on my TV, I realized that this is not a joke! The cute little boy ( because I was a fan when he was still a little kid), who became a pop star was gone…

Then I saw an live interview with Mr. Geller, a friend of Michael from London. There was an interesting thing from the news that I want to share with you.

Mr. Geller answering a question about his first impression of Michael. He said, he was introduced to little Michael when Michael was still a little boy by one of the rich in London. One time, Mr. Geller saw that little Michael was looking out the window and he was looking at children playing there. So, he asked Michael, “Michael, are you lonely…?”

“Mr. Geller, I’m reaaaally lonely”.

As a parent, I was about to cry when I heard this statement…. At that time, suddenly I can feel his loneliness, I can feel his burden, I can feel his heart.

Well as a little boy, he still has a longing to play with his friend, but on the other side, he has to do the rehearshal, he has to practice the song, memorize the lyrics, practice the dance, etc, and this was really consuming his time. I think he doesn’t have any time to play anymore, because all of the stuff about singing, keep on demanding his responsibility and time.

This little star began to feel the emptyness so that eventhough he can achieve so many things in his life, this emptyness was still there. I think, it is like a syndrome for a star.

I got several advises for parents who has a star at their home:

1. Give time for your child to play with his/ her friend so that they will not loose their childhood time.
2. Manage the time so that you still can have time to be with your child and your child can have time to be with you.
3. Increase his/her spiritual ability so that in every step he take, he can have strenght in his believe, that’s important, because as parents we cannot be 24/7 with him/her all the time.
4. Have a good communication with them so that when they have a problem, they can share it with you. If they keep the problem inside, keep the problem for themselves, it will create a bigger problem in the future. Communication is really important.
5. Be their friend. As a star, probably there are many out there who want to be your child’s friend because your child is a star. Probably they couldn’t have a close friend. Parents, it is your time to be your child’s best friend… to share the time, to share the problem, to share the happiness,… to share everything,… give a shoulder to cry on. They’re going to need it.

Well…I think I speak enough now…I hope Michael can have a peace… Good bye Michael…